Learn Tantra. Meet Conscious Men.

>Not ready to register? See Other Intro Dates Below -or- Text Benji with your “Maybe” or FAQ: (303) 847-5263

This might be outside your comfort zone.

That’s the point. You aren’t here for more of the same.

Instead of overthinking it, step into a beginner-friendly Men’s Tantra space designed for guys like you.

Owning Your Sexual Self

One full day. A Complete Introduction to Tantra.

  • Tantric breathwork and meditation
  • Cultivating your own erotic self
  • Consent as a path of body sovereignty
  • The levels and types of “Yes” and “No”
  • Giving and Receiving: Meaningful touch that you direct with other men

The work begins inside you before it moves toward anyone else. Round 1 is self-focused. There will be a slow undressing ritual, and you will have theoption to remain partially dressed. Some guys shed layers through the day; some don’t. Nobody comments. Your body is welcome exactly as it is – especially yours

P.S. – Don’t be the guy who talks himself out due to a “I’m not sexy enough” story! Let us help you break free from that!

Logistics:

We meet from 9:30am until 6:00pm.

We meet in Durham or Chapel Hill — a private home, not a studio. Doors open 9:00 am. We close with a shared meal around 6pm. All attendees should plan to spend the full day – please do not leave early due to other commitments (the last hour is often the favorite part of the day together). We will send out an orientation email to all attendees 1 week before the event with the address and other details needed to have a great first experience with us.

220+

men have come through our workshops

6

years of gatherings in the Triangle

“After years of nervousness about attending a gay tantra event, I’m so glad I finally came to one of Benji and Steve’s events.  The other men were warm, friendly, and accommodating, and the activities were easy to follow and meaningful. But the best part was feeling a true sense of belonging — part of a community and a brotherhood. I walked away not only with tools I can use regularly for self-renewal and growth, but also with new connections.”
” 

– Tim S.

Upcoming Events

INTRO WORKSHOP

Cultivating Your Own Erotic Self

Next date: Saturday, September 12
Time: 10am – 6pm
Location: Durham, NC
Cost: $120
Who: Gay, bi, and queer men — no experience needed

4-PART INITIATION

Tao Tantra Initiation

A 4-session journey into erotic embodiment, authentic intimacy & Taoist alchemy. Sep 26, Oct 17, Nov 7, Dec 5.

$990 for the full journey

RETREAT

Tao Tantra Men’s Retreat

Next date: January 16-23, 2027 Duration: 7 Days with optional 7-Day pre-week embodiment retreat
Location: Zipolite, Mexico at Pachalegria Retreat Center
Tuition + Lodging: Coming Soon
Who: 12-20 guys

WEEKLY GATHERING

Deep Connection Through Breath, Brotherhood & a Book

Frequency: Weekly Monday Evenings
Time: 6:00–8:00 PM
Location: Durham, NC
Cost: $225 total per 10 weeks
Who: Open to all men — Taoist self-care

Next Intro: September 12, 2026 — Join Mailing List or Text Benji at (303) 847-5263 for updates. Registration is open HERE.

Your Facilitators

The men who hold this space have practiced and taught tantra for a combined 25+ years.

Benji Tantra

Lead Facilitator

Benji has 20+ years of meditation, breathwork, and Tantra practice. He holds an M.A. in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology from Naropa University and an MBA from NC State. He founded Triangle Gay Men’s Tantra in 2020 and has facilitated hundreds of events creating brave, trauma-informed, transformational space for gay, bi and queer men in the Triangle. Text message Benji at (303) 847-5263 with inquiries or FAQ.

Steve

Co-Facilitator

A teacher of qigong, Taoist men’s vitality practices, and Tantra for over twenty years. He is a senior instructor in Healing Tao and currently serves on Mantak Chia’s Council of Nine advisors for Universal Healing Tao. Steve also has 30 years experience in martial arts, and has done extensive personal work in other traditions including ISTA, plant medicine, and shamanic de-armoring. Steve can be reached at steve@primalspring.org.

Together Benji and Steve have developed a version of Tao Tantra — a synthesis integrating Tantra, Taoist Alchemy, Authentic Relating, and Men’s Work into original material that shows how words can be as intimate as touch—and how touch deepens through presence and alignment and cultivation of our own inner sexual Truth.

Common Questions

Yes. This workshop was designed for men who are new. No prior experience needed, no special body that none of us have, nothing to figure out first. About half of the men in any given room are attending their first tantra workshop.

The practices start with self-awareness and boundary exercises before anything involves another person so that you’re in a good place to know your “yes” and “no”.

Four core practices across the day: tantric breathwork, somatic attunement (learning to feel your body from the inside), consent as a body-felt skill, and authentic relating — connecting genuinely with other men. The morning is self-focused. The afternoon opens into partnered practice, always with explicit consent, always with full permission to pass.

Yes. Touch is part of Men’s Tantra practice — conscious, consensual, sometimes erotic touch. Clothing is optional; you will see a range in the room. Our intro events have training in consent so that you have a strong sense of “yes” and “no” before any sexual contact – but there are exercises where you will have the chance to invite touch.

In the type of Tantra we offer, there is no penetration or exchange of fluids. It’s not a sex party. It’s not a circle-jerk club. We have been around for 6 years offering a couple hundred events, and have been consistent around this to build trust. Please respect our norms, so we can continue to offer something that goes beyond the everyday sex scene that so many men are hungry to find an alternative to.

One difficulty many guys find in Tantra – and the reason we do intro events – is that guys are afraid of being paired with everyone in the room. We’re in a gay culture that simply swipes left on most of us without giving us a chance – and we’re trying to create a space where we can all grow and be together as we create a healthy sense of community where everyone can belong. But it’s tricky – how do we overcome the blocks to connecting with each other? Here’s how we think about it and make it work:

In Tantra, there may be 20 different guys in the room. The guy you find super attractive and blush at the thought of being paired with. The 15 guys you’re pretty neutral with – no problems with them, but not necessarily your type. And then the couple guys in the room who are really different from you and who you can’t allow to touch you without regrets.

On the one hand, Tantra invites you to practice connecting with all different types of guys. And we encourage you to expand your limits as a human being – to go from being fixated on just a couple “types” – to feeling vibrant and alive and open to all kinds of guys. We also get it. The way we deal with “bad chemistry” in Tantra is to get curious about it. Some of the most meaningful experiences I’ve had in Tantra were with the guys I disliked – both learning how to set boundaries, and getting curious about what they bring up in me. These are the guys who will show you what needs healing, where our hearts are closed, and where we still have hang-ups. We stay in the connection, learning how to be there in healthier ways, and we set boundaries.

In a Tantra session you’ll come out with stronger boundaries, a sense of openness, and a lot of learnings around how to be a full-throttled man, deeply in touch with your heart and your sexuality. You’ll come out with a sense of brotherhood. And it will also fill your tank – don’t forget the guy(s) who are a great match are often there as well if you come a few times. There’s a reason lots of guys meet partners through Tantra.

Yes. Every session opens with an explicit confidentiality agreement. The address is shared only with confirmed attendees, a week before. We’ve been running workshops in the Triangle for six years. Discretion is built into the design.

Erections are welcome anytime, but they are never required or even expected.

Don’t overthink it – it’s a bunch of guys being natural around each other, and any worries about being naked or being seen tend to go away fast – even for newcomers.

The question underneath that question is worth naming: Am I worth this investment?

If something in you automatically deprioritizes your own wellbeing — your healing, your pleasure, your growth — that’s not really a budget question. Most of us have invested freely in our careers, our relationships, everything else. Investing in your own aliveness and self-mastery is not a luxury. It’s the foundation everything else stands on.

Sliding scale is available — text Benji at (303) 847-5263 before registering. We’d rather have you in the room than not.

You’re reading this. That’s the signal. Men who aren’t ready don’t get to this page and sit with the question. Nervous is good — it means something real is on the other side. The men who show up and stay with the practice over time – in spite of jitters, stories of not being good enough, and other types of self-sabotage – are the ones who get the most out of it. It’s not an easy path, to face ourselves deeply, to overcome our hang-ups and heal. Tantra is meant to be challenging.

But if you have a strong desire for self-mastery; if you’re interested in the place where everyday sexuality takes on a deeper meaning and becomes sacred sexuality – then Tantra is for you. All you have to do is show up for yourself.

More questions? Read the full FAQ →

Nervous? Excited? Wanting More?

That’s exactly the right place to start.

Nervousness and excitement are two sides of the same coin – and it means you’re on the edge of something new that you are hungry for.

A lot of guys are split between the call of a sexier life and the voices of fears and shame in their heads. Tantra can be the juicy start of deeper connection with yourself, your relationships, and your erotic life. The men who get the most from Tantra aren’t the ‘confident naturals’, but those who show up anyway, jitters and all.

If you’re turned on at the thought of learning Tantra with a group of men, and want a place to start – this is for you. Guys like you. One day. Come as you are.

Or text Benji first: (303) 847-5263